falling, stumbling, tumbling {etc.}.

Currently Listening To: Low Rising by The Swell Season

Lyric Obsession: "You were restless. I was somewhere less secure, so I went running to the road." - from "Hold You in These Arms" by The Swell Season

Hey lovelies. Thanks so much for all your get well wishes and ice cream suggestions on my last post. You're the sweetest bunch. I'm writing up against a cotton-candy sunset tonight, listening to a Swell Season record. I'm also burning my favorite candle - a smell called Clementine that's comforting and mellow. It smells like open windows in the Spring. I'm finally emerging from a day in the Cave of Solitude (which is my friend's affectionate term for days I lock myself away from the world and write). My brain has been a bit too consumed with work lately to come up with great blog fodder, so I'm sharing a list of some of my (current) favorite things. I hope you'll add your recommendations in the comments!

I'm reading ... Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

I've been drowning in a sea of lovely books lately - Matched by Ally Condie (review coming pronto!), Skullduggery Pleasant by Derek Landry (a recommendation from The Green Bean Teen Queen - it was weird and funny and adventurous with a fabulous heroine - four aspects I adore in a novel), and now this book. Oh, this book. I'm not even sure how to write about it, but I'm going to try.

Kasud Shiguro's Never Let Me Go has been on my "To Read" list for a long time. When I saw the trailer for the film adaptation, and realized it was releasing this fall ... I knew I had to bump the book up to the top. Before I tell you why I'm liking the book, I need to issue two very important disclaimers: 1.) This is not a book for younger readers. I am not trying to police what you read, listen to, watch, etc. However, I know there are some middle school readers who drop in here occasionally. If you are one of them, A.) you are awesome and B.) I don't want you to think I'm recommending books to you that have some mature content. By mature content, I mean: strange situations, possibly some language and maybe some heavy making-outage that comes in later chapters. (Not sure on that last one, but it's a possibility.) I am not insinuating that I'm offended by those things or that I'm not aware you have computers and TV's and other fancy inventions. I'm not saying you are not mature. Still. I wouldn't recommend this one to my niece. And she wouldn't be into the book anyway. (Go for Skullduggery Pleasant instead ;). 2.) This book is not happy. My sister always likes for me to warn her about the happy-factor in a book. She thinks sad books and movies are a waste of time. I like to wear black and listen to sad songs and and so, of course, I disagree. But if you're looking the literary equivalent of rainbows and kittens and sunshine ... this is not the book you'll want to pick up.

Never Let Me Go is told from the perspective of Kathy H., a young woman in her 30’s reflecting back on the events that marked her teens and 20’s. However, from the first strange sentence of this novel, you know Kathy's adolescence was nothing like yours. Kathy was a student at Hailsham, a school located somewhere in England, in the hollow of a hillside hidden away from the outside world. Some aspects of Hailsham will ring true to any school experience – cliques and crushes and odd teachers and amazing teachers and an emphasis on the arts. Students at Hailsham are told how special they are from the start. "Special," however, is not always a good thing.

"So you're waiting, even if you don't quite know it, waiting for the moment when you realise that you really are different to them; that there are people out there, like Madame, who don't hate you or wish you any harm, but who nevertheless shudder at the very thought of you -- of how you were brought into this world and why -- and who dread the idea of your hand brushing against theirs. The first time you glimpse yourself through the eyes of a person like that, it's a cold moment. It's like walking past a mirror you've walked past every day of your life, and suddenly it shows you something else, something troubling and strange." - from p. 36 of the paperback version of Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro (Random House, 2005)

I don't want to drop anymore clues about the students at Hailsham (be warned: if you Google this novel, spoilers abound). You sort of get an idea of what's happening from the start. There's a beauty in the reveal here though; the way you get a sense of what's happening, then actually hear it, then realize it, then realize it will happen to characters who love each other so much ... characters you start to love, too.

It’s that subtly, I think, that makes the story so scary. I’m hesitant to call Never Let Me Go dystiopain, as it takes place in the late 90’s … but the tone of the book definitely has a futuristic, other-worldly echo about it. And yet. Usually in dystopian reads, I feel like some government force, some alterna-society is pressing in against me. There are wild new machines that whir in my ears and strange rules and stoic officials always watching from the shadows. There is an oppression obvious to me even if it isn’t obvious to the characters yet. This is a quieter kind of novel. In Never Let Me Go, I feel like I’m falling into a brave new world that is frighteningly believable. Frighteningly now.

The novel could easily leave you pondering morality, and faith, and science. This novel could kick-start great discussions about our society’s ever creeping tendency toward "playing God," toward going too far with modern technology (is it a question of if or when?). Instead, the questions that keep rising up off pages for me have been more endearing than those. Like: is love enough to save someone? Is love stronger than fate? And who determines who you really, truly are ... and who you get to become?

In the end, Kathy, Tommy, and Ruth are the best part of this novel for me. These characters are breaking my heart all to pieces. And even though I have a feeling the ending is bleak, I'm still racing toward the last page so I can find out what happens to them. Never Let Me Go is keeping me awake at night and sticking in my mind all day long. And the movie looks stunning. (Note: spoilers in the trailer). I’m such a fangirl for Carrie Mulligan. (Do you recognize her, fellow Pride and Prejudice fans?)

I'm listening to ... Graceland, as covered by The Tallest Man on Earth

The Rogue Accountant informs me this song is only available as a single that was only released in Europe. Which means it isn't on iTunes. Which means when I want to hear it, and I often do, I have to listen to it on Youtube over and over. Not. Cool.

I made ... Ina Gartan's Lemon Picata Chicken

You did not misread that statement ... I can make this. I have made this dish successfully more than once. By successfully, of course, I mean: so far no one has needed treatment for food-borne illness after consuming it. I use chicken stock instead of white wine though. I'm not opposed to drinking, or cooking with, white wine. But I am absolutely, unabashedly, terrified when it comes to cooking with it. I'm constantly paranoid about setting the house on fire when I cook. The only thing I can picture when it comes to cooking with alcohol is fire, licking up the walls of my kitchen, engulfing my house. So I opt for chicken stock instead. It works. I don't know what to serve with this yet (Ina - I like to think she's cool with me using her first name - serves it with mashed potatoes and roasted onions). I'm proud of my achievement. This is one of the few swanky-ish dishes (ie: not poptarts) I feel comfortable making. I make a mess but it's yummy stuff. Do you watch the barefoot contessa? Do you know my favorite part of the entire show? I love how, whenever Ina Gartan makes chicken, she looks at the camera, and smirks, and always says, in her confident wink-wink sort of way, "You know how Jeffrey is about chicken." Kills me every time.

I'm watching ... Darius Goes West

My brother told me to watch this documentary and he told me I would cry, a lot. He was right. I bawled. But I smiled through the whole movie. It's soul-stirring. Watch it with your best friends, or your youth group, or your roommates. It really is a celebration of friendship. When the credits roll, you'll decide life is too short not to do what you love. And you'll remember life is too short not to love with your whole heart.

I want ... these cowboy boots.

I'm obsessed with them. My mom has a sick (and by sick I mean amazing) pair she wore in her 20's. They're red/brown, cut low, cute with jeans, cute with dresses. That's the beauty of cowboy boots. They look good with everything. Sadly, my mom's boots are a size too big for me (even in boots ... in which I typically wear a full size up). I had a pair a few years ago but they were more of a fill in until I found the pair. I've got my eye on this pair. Like the heel. Like the height. Like how they look scuffed up on the toe. The color is perfect - would go with brown, or black, or frilly. I like cowboy boots with jeans but I love them with dresses and frilly skirts. Frilly and tough are a wonderful combination.

I wish ... Paul Ferney's paintings were available in print form.

I'm looking for a new painting to go above my bed. By painting I mean "print" because I don't think I can afford an actual painting at this stage. Paul Ferney is one of my favorite artists. His landscapes are storybook, just blurry enough to make you think you're looking into another world (or into a place in your heart you've never seen before). I always hold out hope that, eventually, Paul Ferney will sell prints of his work but I don't think those are available yet. So I printed out a few of my favorites and put them in my purse. When I go to antique stores that sell old prints and paintings, and I try to find something that has the same vibe. So far - no luck.

I made note of ... this quote:

"The Possible's slow fuse is lit by the Imagination." - Emily Dickenson

Also ... this one:

"It was me. I let the dogs out."

I always look forward to ... long walks with Biscuit.

I love the way she prances down the road, like she owns the neighborhood. I love it when we get home and sit on the back porch and I gripe and complain about the humidity and the mosquitoes and she pants and wags her tail like, "I know, right?!" And then she leans into me and we watch the sun go down together. Dogs make life so much sweeter, don't they?

So those are a few marvels I'm into at the moment. I'm also into this weekend already, even though it has barely started, because I get to spend some time with my two bff's. While I talk to them weekly, it is extremely rare all three of us are actually able to hang out together. We're going to go see Eclipse (Team Volturi) and then shop. I think this is tax free weekend in Tennessee though, and you know how I love crowded places *sarcasm*. So by "shop," I mostly mean: hide under display tables and have panic attacks while they shop.Happy Weekending!