Friday, September 30, 2011

girls in grey cardigans.


Listening To: Rambling Man by Laura Marling
Reading: Mindy Kaling's "Flick Chicks" in The New Yorker. "There are, like, nine people in the entire world who are architects, and one of them is my dad. None of them look like Patrick Dempsey."
31 Years Ago This Weekend: My parents got married. Their ceremony was small; just family and close friends. My mom wore a pale blue, knee-length dress and tan heels. My dad wore a brown suit and a big smile. I love celebrating happily ever after with them. They're the best. 

My brave little roses are still blooming! Take that, Almost-October.
So I’ve decided to take a Facebook hiatus for just a little while. I realize this isn’t blogworthy news. I’m only mentioning it on here because some of you sweet people have said hello recently via The Facebook. That always makes me super-smiley. I most definitely did not want you to think I’d defriended you. I’m just trying to focus-in on something specific. And sometimes I need to go a bit extreme when I’m recalibrating my focus.  (Are you ever this way? Or is it just me?) Much like Frosty the Snowman, I’ll be back again someday soon (probably within the next few weeks). Thumpity, thump, thump, etc.

Speaking of Facebook: I’ve received a few random Facebook messages this year from guys I do not know. And the content of their messages leads me to believe that these gents are not blog readers, nor have they read Paperdoll. In fact, the content of their messages, along with their shirtless self-taken bathroom mirror profile picture, leads me to believe they’re most likely trolling Facebook for chicks.

Their message is usually some derivative of: “U are butifel. We r friends, ok?”

There is a possibility I’m getting pranked by trixy LOLCats. Nevertheless.

This random messaging has only happened a couple of times. As you know, stuff like that is easily remedied. It’s easy to block people forever and always from finding you, or sending you weird messages, on Facebook. The messages aren't pervy. They're just dumb. But it is still kind of funny that these messages are even sent to me at all, even randomly. Because this is my Facebook profile picture:


Nothing says: PARTY ANIMAL HOPING TO CONNECT WITH A FACEBOOK STRANGER …

 … like a girl in a grey cardigan sitting in front of an empty Starbucks cup. I can see where someone might get the wrong impression. So I’ve decided to set the record straight.

I’m about to give you the low-down on what girls in grey cardigans are really like.

Now – obviously – this list of facts that I’m about to share with you does not apply to every girl in a grey cardigan. This is not a universal checklist. These facts only apply to the shorty in that particular picture. Try not to be intimidated by her. *sarcasm*

The Girl in The Grey Cardigan:

- Nearly started a kitchen fire this week without turning on the stove. Apparently, it takes some serious culinary finesse to microwave a sweet potato. Little potato = Whole lotta smoke.  My house still smells like a campfire. (Those less imaginative might claim it smells like an ashtray.)

- Occasionally craves any/all of the following: Fruit Loops, Cherry Coke, sriracha, cold weather, hot coffee and Ryan Adams’ “Heartbreaker” album. But not necessarily at the same time. Not necessarily.

- Prefers wildflowers to roses.

- Loves her freckles. Is still self-conscious about her body, but she’s making peace with the soft places.

- Digs love songs (like this) and lonesome songs (like this) and the way guitar strings feel when she presses her fingertips against them. Wishes she could make music come from those strings, but figures she’ll probably have to learn more than one chord in order for that to happen.

- Is fluent in sarcasm but tries to use her powers for good. (Fears sarcasm is a dying language.)

- Never went through a phase when she thought boys were gross. Has always believed guys are weirdly wonderful. Mostly wonderful. Unless they send bizarre messages on Facebook. IN THAT CASE THEY’RE JUST WEIRD.

Would wear knee boots and skinny jeans every day of the year if she could. But she lives in the south, so she can’t. Because that would mean excess sweat. Fake leather sweat is no good. Pleather Sweat = Stank.

- Stares at the night sky until she finds the perfect wishing star. Loses all sense of time while doing this, but never loses her sense of wonder. 

- Frequently references Star Wars, The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Anne of Green Gables, Muppet movies, and Friends.

- Is aware of her geekery. Considers it an attribute.

- Has had/presently has a celebrity crush on all of the following: Bo Duke, Chris Thile, Taye Diggs, Han Solo, Conan O’Brien, Bruce Springstein, Neil Gaiman, Enrique (the waiter at Carrabas) and Payton Manning. Go ahead and try to infer something from all that. 

- Gets annoyed when someone corrects someone else's grammar during conversation.

- Likes to write sentence fragments. Just to alienate the grammar trolls. 

- Is allergic to gravity.

- Watched two episodes of She-Ra on Netflix. Was inspired. Asked her family to please begin addressing her as “Princess of Power”. Thus far, they have refused to play along.

- Left her heart in London. Intentionally.

- Threw a guy’s keys in a Wendy’s Trash Can once. Accidentally. (Well … “Acidentally.”)

- Loves Jesus. Loves her family. Considers her dog part of her family. Loves her friends. Mostly, she just seriously loves to love. Being loved back is pretty rock-awesome too. 

- Has a poem by Langston Hughes taped inside her Bible. 

- Has a Chinese fortune folded into her locket. 

- Has a freckle on her lip.

- Has a paint stain on her sleeve. 

- Has a story in her heart.

Here’s what I’m getting at Facebook fellows: The Girl in the Grey Cardigan … she’s probably not what you're looking for. Don’t misunderstand: she’s a cool girl. She doesn't like to cook, but she knows how to put out a kitchen fire. (That's so hot. Zing!) She's no athlete, but she can throw down in a game of Clue. Also, she once made it all the way to Super Sleuth in her Carmen Sandiego computer game. Most men are intimidated by those skills. No shame in that.  

In other news, I  heard a rumor that the weather will hover around 65 on Saturday. I'm giddy over this. I'm headed to the library today to pick up The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, which I'm pretty stoked about. My weekend plan is to cuddle up with my dog, drink lots of coffee, and read. Do you have any fun fall-ish plans? You reading anything particularly snazzy? Happy weekending to you!

12 comments:

  1. I think the girl in a grey cardigan beats out a party girl any day. :)

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  2. Ha-ha! Love that you use your powers of sarcasm for good. (And that wasn't sarcastic...but you already know that because you are fluent!)

    Love this post!

    Shelley

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  3. Natalie, I just love you. I feel like I should be wearing a grey cardigan just because I could relate to so many of those bullet points...and I'm definitely okay with that.

    Also, my friends and I here at Maryville LOVE LOVE LOVE playing Clue, and I'm so excited about the cooler weather and being able to wear my scarves.

    Sincerely,
    Fellow Princess of Power :)

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  4. First off: my grey cardi is my best friend :]
    I'm going a-cornmazin' next week, and I'm reading "The Priest's Graveyard" by Ted Dekker, which everyone gave a bad rap, but I'm still glued to the pages.

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  5. i own three gray cardigans...so that's funny. this was an awesome post. my weekend will be spent writing a paper, watching my fave shows on netflix, going to a spectacular double birthday party for two besties, and church.
    LF

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  6. I love this! I wish I owned a gray cardigan :) This weekend I'm painting my room (pink!) and trying to get it cleaned and organized because when my room is messy my whole life is a MESS. So that's my big weekend goal :)

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  7. Lovely post! :)

    It's supposed to be 60 degrees here tomorrow. I'm so excited, too! My mom and grandma are hitting some yard sales early in the morning. I'll be tagging along because I get a biscuit from Hardee's and I get to catch up on my embroidery while I sit and wait in the backseat. When I heard what the temperature was going to be, I was like, "Does this mean I get to wear cozy clothes??" Totally busting out the boots and the cardigan (I don't have a grey one yet. Either black or brown).

    I'm also hoping to make a cup of mint hot chocolate at some point this weekend. :) With whipped cream and chocolate chips.

    ~Kristin

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  8. I just bought a grey cardigan today. Makes me feel special now :) it's incredibly cozy too. Weekend plans: find two outfits for mine and Tuck's (I love calling him Tuck because it makes me think of Tuck Everlasting, one of my favorite books ever), engagement pictures on Monday night! I'm so excited for them. Also, do homework. And laundry. Make monkey bread, and read. I just finished 'The Help' today and LOVED it. I loved the movie as well. (did you know Kathryn Stockett is in this month's Garden&Gun?). I also plan to take along nap tomorrow, and read 'The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane'. :) I need to buy 'Wonderstruck' from Target. I was so excited to see it last weekend. Have you gotten it yet?

    Happy weekend!
    :)

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  9. Hey Nat (can I call you that? ;) )
    Awesome post once again! I love reading your blog, your such a great writer and your so easy to relate to! I think I might invest in a grey cardi now (even though we're stepping into Spring here..Southern Hemisphere :D ). My weekends already over, but I'll write about my plans for next weekend. My brother and his family are coming over. We havnt seen them in months! We're gonna celebrate my nephews 2nd birthday! So exciting! So I plan on eating a heck of a lot! :D woohoo!
    Now may I ask you something completely irrelevant? You mention on your blog that your a fan of The Bar Method and I'm really interested in buying a few dvds..Could you suggest which one would be the best to start with? (I currently do pilates but want to mix it up a little :) ). And also how long did it take to see results? How often do you do it?
    Sorry to bombard your page with questions.
    Much love, Hannah :)

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  10. Katie, ditto to you! :)

    Thanks storyqueen! Love your glasses, btw.

    Allie/Princes of Power, I'm so psyched that you'll be playing Clue with your dormfriends! :) I'm stoked about scarf weather too. I don't wear scarves often, because I don't like stuff touching my neck (I'm such a weirdo) but I still love the bite in the air. Oh Fall ...

    Emmy, I love corn maizes! That Dekker book looked totally scary to me, but I'm a wimp. Let me know what you think when you're finished.

    LF, 3 cardis makes you triple-awesome. :) Sounds like such a sweet weekend!

    Courtney, you must post pics of the pink room! I wanna see!

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  11. Kristin, this comment signifies that we are kindred spirits in so many ways. The ONLY way someone could bait me into going to yardsales is with food. Hardees Biscuits? Are the bomb. And mint hot chocolate sounds delightful. Hot Chocolate + A Biscuit ... that's pretty much what my dreams are made of.

    Steffanie, woo hoo on engagement pictures! Tuck is adorable (the name and the boy). Y'all are a photographer's dream. :) I still don't have Wonderstruck. I must get it pronto, because I hear nothing but wonderful things. Loved that article about K. Stockett too. She's so smart and articulate. Edward Tulane broke my heart in the most glorious way. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

    Hey Hannah! First, you can totally call me Nat. Second, I really, really like bar method. I'd been doing cardio for a while, but I wanted something that had a weight component for toning. I have several restrictions that I have to work through when I exercise (bad back, etc). After some research, I found bar method, and bought a DVD knowing I could modify the exercises that didn't work for me. Within about a month, the tone in my arms was wild. I've lifted much heavier weights than this, but I've never seen the results. The muscles in my legs are also toned. I haven't noticed any change around my middle, but I think that has more to do with genetics and build, etc. I'm learning to deal with that. If you like Pilates, I bet you'll love bar. It is very similar; very graceful and pretty but it still makes me sweat major. The "Change Your Body" DVD (the blue one with Burr Leonard teaching) is my favorite. I have the yellow one too (accelorated body workout) but I don't like it as much as the blue. Sometimes I alternate arms with the yellow, but the blue is a better workout for me. Let me know what you think if you try it!

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  12. Thanks Nat :)
    I'll be sure to let you know!
    Han :)

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